Dissecting my mind's eye
I've been strolling around the city for hours now, the whole afternoon I spent walking in parts of Belfast no Tourist normally would be interested in. Then I got home, had some gin tonics with my companions. They went to a bar/disco later, trying to get even more drunk and dancing and silly. I went the other direction, first looking for a bar to have a drink, then going on and on walking. Thinking. Spent lots of time just looking at the Lagan River, running around the city for hours until I was calm and content.
I spent too much time lately beating myself up about things that I thought were important. I have been trying to reach goals for years that simply were not my own. I have spent ages trying to be somerthing others wanted me to be. Or doing what others want me to do.
My mind keeps on wandering all this time. Trying to find me in what I'm doing.
I wasted so much time searching for myself I think I hardly know what to look for.